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Holding Stones

by Robyn Jamner

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1.
She walks along the river, holding stones She hasn’t learned to let go It’s been years since her sister called At their brother's birthday, they faced away And didn’t talk They live in different states She’s spent years at a backup job An annual pay raise, a word of thanks A friend laid off She thinks about plan A She walks along the river, holding stones She hasn’t learned to let go She walks along the river, holding stones She hasn’t learned to let go When she sees nobody else around She takes a short strand of hair in hand And pulls it out A little reprimand When she was twenty-five, a lover said That she would never find another And now she can't  Prove any scars it left She walks along the river, holding stones She hasn’t learned to let go She walks along the river, holding stones She hasn’t learned to let go The first time she had that dream She woke up breathless, cold and sweaty On her couch The same recurring dream Where she stands beside the river, skipping stones She stands beside the river, skipping stones She stands beside the river, skipping stones
2.
Eventually 02:53
Kristen edits fiction and poetry She plans to write a novel eventually Stares at an empty page Walter has a daughter in Tennessee He knows he ought to call her eventually Waits for a better day Sweep your troubles to the corner Ignore them until they grow enormous Kristen looks at pictures from Myrtle Beach She prays she will forget her eventually Softly she whispers her name Walter buys a bottle of Jim Beam He claims he’ll break the habit eventually Waits for a better day Sweep your troubles to the corner Ignore them until they grow enormous Restless and alone 4AM, The clock offers its toll Sweep your troubles to the corner Ignore them until they grow enormous Sweep your troubles to the corner Ignore them until they grow enormous Kristen calls Walter from Tennessee He promises he’ll visit eventually
3.
A flannel shirt and hiking boots You stand among the twisted roots Of a cedar tree And I pretend I was the one Behind the camera And you were smiling just for me We live in different time zones now I stay up with my iPhone out Low on battery It’s like we’re looking at each other through a windowpane When we press against the glass we’re almost touching I want to feel you breathing But there’s nothing warm about the fog you leave I send a couple messages I hope they feel like little gifts On a mantelpiece Please call, I want to see your face (Projected with a slight delay) Blow a kiss to me I feel like we could talk all night I never want to see my tired Reflection on the screen It’s like we’re looking at each other through a windowpane When we press against the glass we’re almost touching I want to feel you breathing But there’s nothing warm about the fog you leave It’s like we’re looking at each other through a windowpane When we press against the glass we’re almost touching I want to feel you breathing But there’s nothing warm about the fog you leave
4.
What a day Spend the morning doing tai chi in my garden What a day Golden leaves carried away by trickling water And I can see a grand tapestry Of everything that's happened for me What a day Making peace with stomach pains and labored breathing What a day Far from microphones I find that I'm still singing And I can see a grand tapestry Of everything that's happened for me For a moment The world gives itself to me Fresh wind against my ears Damp grass beneath my feet No more time for regrets or worries And I can see a grand tapestry Of everything that's happened for me I can see a grand tapestry Of everything that's happened for me What a day Spend the morning doing tai chi in my garden
5.
Traces 04:24
They loved the woman at the corner store Who always set aside her cane To hand them taffy from the money drawer She may fade from her name but her traces remain He loved a friend who just got sober again They met in unexpected rain and left the trailhead for a backup plan He may fade from his name but his traces remain I told myself that we are not outlasted by our love but now I hope it grows and surrounds us Now I can sense it in an airport line The day she had to board a plane They kissed goodbye beside a “welcome” sign They may fade from their names but their traces remain They may fade from their names but their traces remain I told myself that we are not outlasted by our love But now I hope it grows and surrounds us When you and I have given all our days Our pictures by a windowpane We'll spread like mist above Pacific waves We'll spread like mist above Pacific waves When we fade from our names but our traces remain

credits

released February 22, 2019

Music and lyrics by Robyn Jamner.

Produced by Adam Hirsch and Robyn Jamner.
Engineered by Adam Hirsch at Tiny Telephone in San Francisco.
Mastered by Jacob Winik at Tiny Telephone in Oakland.
Album artwork by Jesse Israel.

Robyn Jamner – Vocals and Guitar
Derek Barber – Guitar
Andrew Maguire – Drums and Percussion
Doug Stuart – Bass
Ian McArdle – Piano, Keyboards, and Synthesizer

© ℗ 2018 Rob Jamner ASCAP
All rights reserved. Unauthorized duplication is a violation of applicable laws.

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Robyn Jamner Berkeley, California

Robyn Jamner (they/them) is a genderfluid, genrefluid songwriter and poet. They thrive on ambiguity, playing with expectations in their music. Some moments are catchy and cathartic, others are surprising and sophisticated, but everything comes together to make a singular, distinctive sound. Passionate about building community, Rob frequently collaborates with other artists to bring songs to life. ... more

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